I’m not homophobic but…

Those vaguely offensive statements that are deeply bigoted the more carefully you look at them. When you point this out however, ‘you’re being too sensitive’ and ‘need to calm down… I’m not a homophobe or anything’

I don’t understand why you date girls, you’re pretty enough to get a guy.

I’m not homophobic, I just don’t think it’s normal/natural.

She’s only a lesbian because guys don’t look at her twice. 

I’d be so ashamed if I brought up a gay kid.

All these are statements I’ve heard directly from the mouths of so called friends. Friends I no longer associate with obviously.

Pretty enough to get a guy? Well yeah thanks for pointing that out mate, I was under the impression that a lowly  girl was the best I could do, thanks! You think my sexuality is a choice? I didn’t choose to be attracted to women, much in the same way that I didn’t choose my fucking eye colour.

Not natural? Over 400 species of mammals engage in homosexual conduct. Not natural? So I suppose what, the aliens are forcing us to do it? It’s a lot more normal than breast implants, nuclear power and fucking men walking on the moon and I don’t see you arguing with that, prick. And normal?? You define what exactly normal is specifically and get back to me on that. I won’t hold my breath, you’ll be a while.

Guys don’t look at her twice? This falls into a similar category as the first statement. As if, homosexuality is a last ditch attempt to avoid loneliness. Assuming that, could I manage to ensnare a man, I’d never look back. Right.

Ashamed to bring up a gay child? Hardly have words for this all out nastiness. And then having the cheek to claim they’re in fact, still not a bigot. With books like the following still being printed, I do wonder what sort of world we’re living in. Equality is deeply important to me. I do recognise that we have come a long way in the past 50 years. But we still have a long way to go.

Let them shape their own shit you stupid bigot

Let them shape their own shit you stupid bigot

All my love and rage, Mandy xx.

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4 thoughts on “I’m not homophobic but…

  1. I’ve been there so I can totally relate to it. The thing is that those people you called “friends” have never really been “friends” because if they were, they would’ve skipped those statements and would be like “You’re gay and so what?”. Such process can really show you things in a more clearer way so despite it was a shock (talking from personal experience) it is also a lesson to be learned. Now when someone tells you such statements, you can just act civil with them as long as they don’t go any further.

    • It’s one those strange things a person either understands or not. Each and every time I’ve had this discussion I’ve been adamant that while I respect a person’s right to think what they like, we aren’t compatible as friends. (even when every microbe in my body is screaming ‘you’re a monster how could you?!’) Their response has always been similar ‘Yeah but we can still be friends, we just have different opinions.’ Not even slightly can we be friend haha! I used to shed many tears over it when I was younger, but not at all now. I find it funny. Life too short for bullshit 🙂

  2. I hope you don’t give up on these people who used to be your friends; people say shit because they’re idiots. It’s through education that they realize what asses they’re being. Or not, lol, which ever. I think the optimist in my likes to think that people out there with such condescending views of others can change. If they encounter something in their lives that causes others to judge them, then maybe they will understand the kind of effect they had on those who they had judged before.
    But like you said, life is too short for bullshit.

    • I absolutely definitely think people have the capacity for change and bettering themselves. But I often feel that my refusal to continue being in their lives (while it isn’t pleasant) will serve as a kind of tough love to show them that they’ve been hurtful and need to look at how they treat each other.
      If I ever receive a genuine apology from someone and an admittance of the hurt they caused then I would certainly welcome them back into my life. Sadly, each individual has insisted their innocence and refused to accept that they spoke out of turn. My number one priority is my own happiness, not tolerance of bigots who won’t do me the same treatment.
      Here here to positivity optimism though! x

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