Personally, I’m a big fan of the flying spaghetti monster. But I’m too polite to mention this to the nutters in the street selling their faith with all the grace and dignity of a double glazing salesman. I don’t really get it. But fair enough, most people are nice enough when you say you’re not interested and leave you to it. Not always though….
A friend of mine had the pleasure of encountering a particularly passionate Mormon a little while ago. I’ll call the Mormon supporter Dave. I’ll call my friend Jim. His name definitely isn’t Jim but never mind. And I’ll be fucked if I give a damn what Dave’s real name is. That guy’s a Jackass. They were having a pleasant enough debate about the theory of faith as opposed to evolution (how that can remain pleasant I don’t know but he insists it was fine up until this moment) until some unfortunate young women happened to pass by.
Jim: Well that’s a fair point but have you considered…
*Two young women pass by dressed as Wonder Woman and Cat Woman*
Dave: Why do you dress like whores?! A woman’s body is meant for greater things than just exposure!!! You anger the lord!!
Young women: It’s only fancy dress! We’re raising money for red nose day!
Dave: You think your charity will get you in to heaven?!?!!!
Jim: ….. You’re a wanker.
That wonderful example demonstrates beautifully how out of touch with human motives these dick heads are…. I know. I know the secret to redemption for these poor souls. I’ll grab my little book of bullshit (or bible, you say potato, I say bullshit whatever) and just fucking go mental at innocent strangers minding their own business. That’ll work. They’ll totally listen to me and learn the error of their ways if I just mindlessly hurl abuse at them. Bish bash bosh, job’s a good ‘un.
All my love and rage, Mandy xx.