Standing in dog faeces. Shit. Poop. Doody. Crap. We’ve all done it. Regretted not looking carefully enough. Cursed at dog owners for not bothering to clear it up properly. Because of their laziness, you’ve stank of poo and maybe even taken a long time to notice,… that is until people start whinging about everything smelling like shit and you awkwardly check your shoes along with everybody else present silently praying you won’t be the sad fuck futilely trying to scrape it off on the side of the pavement/curb. To no avail.
Last time I stood in poo I found myself bitterly wishing it wasn’t some random dog’s poo. For some reason, standing in my own dog’s poo would have been better. I would only have myself to blame. Then I got thinking that maybe if I stood in my own poop I’d be even less pissed off. The blame would be entirely mine. It would be my own silly fault for missing the toilet, (or going temporarily insane and relieving myself in the street, whichever) and correcting my own behaviour would relatively simple. Look before you shit, woman. Having nothing to do with my predicament fucks me off. Makes me feel like a victim.
So that’s me. I’d rather shit in the street and step in it, than step a dog’s mess. Because I fucking hate being involved in shit that has nothing to do with me…. Dog’s are smart enough, they could be trained to some sort of solution.
All my love and rage, Mandy xx.